Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Gettin' Hitched?

I received my first marriage proposal this afternoon. In middle school my friend Jennifer Linnett predicted that I would be proposed to at least three times before I ever got married, so I guess I have two more to go. I came home early from work today to find some quiet space to write a sermon and before I had a chance to sit down at my kitchen table I heard a knock at the front door. A young man in a shirt and tie shifted his weight nervously from one foot to the other and muttered a request for some water. Now, it is not uncommon for me to receive strangers at the door, particularly at lunch time (in case I have an extra PB and Jelly), so I promptly went to the fridge and poured him a glass of water. Before I had the chance to shut the door he asked if I had time for a chat. When I hesitated, he immediately suggested, “Just a few minutes please. I really need your help with something.” Dillema. “Do I chat with this guy now and offer some hospitality or do I tell him to scram?” Kindness, or guilt, or cultural confusion kicked in and I invited him in for a short conversation. To make a long (and obscenely awkward) story short, this guy told me that he had been watching me for some time and felt compelled by God to come and talk to me. He confessed that he wanted to marry a white woman and this was the problem I was supposed to solve. Needless to say, I told him that this was simply not possible. He asked if he could at least have my phone number to which I replied (bewilderment GLARING on my face), “No!” Gutsy move random stranger, but no way on God’s green earth. I went back to work to consult with my wonderful Zambian colleagues who all had a good laugh and assured me that this is not standard dating protocol. They also suggested that I keep the freaking door shut. Good advice.

And here is some other good advice: when the water that comes out of your faucet begins to smell like death it is probably a good idea to get this checked out. For the last few days when I filled the tub for my morning bath I noticed that the water smelled a little off. Yesterday it was particularly bad, so I insisted that maintenance come see to the problem. And yep, you may have guessed it. Dead rat in the hot water tank. That’s a nice image, isn’t it?

Not bad for 48 hours. A marriage proposal and sharing bath water with a decomposing animal. Awesome.


Rochelle said...

Okay, if you can overcome sharing water with a dead rat, you can do anything. Wow.

Staci said...

and I thought my boy stories were bad. you win!!

Emily said...

Hilarious! I love it! You may end up wearing a ring on your finger too, just to keep 'em away! I'm just hoping all three don't come in Zambia. :) Zambia has been all over CNN lately so I've been able to follow what's happening there and feel a bit closer to you... and your life there.

Alissa Maxwell said...

"Gutsy move random stranger, but no way on God’s green earth."

Wonderfully written - as we would all expect from you. You are painting a great picture of your life and experiences. From the futbal to Charity's story to daily life of cultural confusion. I love it! Good to know that marriage proposals from strangers are not standard protocol!

sarliefin said...

Oh how I miss you but with this blog feel that you are so close. Your writing is so great that I feel like I'm in the middle of your stories. What a day you had.
Was he cute? ;)